Disappointed in myself

4 062
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Runtime: 15:03


Stine Kristensen
Stine Kristensen - 15 dager siden
Hey girl,
I have anxiety too (and depression) and I know just what you are talking about. I am going through a group therapy thing atm called "ACT". It is SO tiring and hard but it helps me. Sometimes. We are all different people so maybe this form om therapy just isn't for you. There is NO SHAME in admitting that. Do whatever you think helps. I believe in you! Love from Denmark :)
Cindy Rhoads
Cindy Rhoads - Måned siden
its ok colleen
5timesthefun - Måned siden
HUGEST of HUGS Colleen!! I as well suffer with anxiety, depression, OCD and a different tillomania, I KNOW the struggles!
5timesthefun - Måned siden
THANK YOU so much for sharing your dermatillomania struggles. I as well struggle with OCD, anxiety and depression. it helps to know we arent alone
Evillegs - 2 måneder siden
I know this is an older video but I'm really sorry your therapist has told you to overanalyze your feelings after a relapse per say. As someone recovering from other forms of self harm i feel that is a really detrimental way to try and stop and only leads to guilt and shame that you dont deserve to have placed on your shoulders. Noone should ever feel that way because it only enhances negative thought patterns. You are trying your best, that's what should be held on to. Instead of "what are you ashamed of today?" It should be "What are you proud of today?" Even if you picked twice, it could be better than the three times the day before, or even if it was more you can acknowledge that and see what may have spurred the anxiety but never down yourself, especially in recovery but still thank yourself for acknowledging it. It's not linear and noone should feel like their progress isnt still progress. An effort to work on it everyday is progress, the thought process of changing it is progress. You are more than your bad days, you are a light, a wonderful mother, a wonderful friend. You are allowed to not be okay because you are human and deserve to feel and grow. I know this may get lost in the sea of comments but I am truly wishing you well. Recovery is not easy but not impossible and being easier on yourself while working through it has done wonders for me. I know it's easier said than done but always remember a relapse is not a step backwards and nothing to be ashamed of, its hard to break an addiction but admitting you are an addict is even harder and you are already killing it! Thank you for sharing with us, good days or bad days, it always helps, us and hopefully sharing helps you as well. You are not alone and are so damn strong I'd put all my money in your pot because I know you'll win the fight 💖 so much love to you and to anyone who may read this comment, you are loved, you are worthy, and you are deserving of a happy fulfilled life 💖
Jade Salah
Jade Salah - 2 måneder siden
Sometimes I take a break from you and then let you post everyday and then I binge watch your vids
Jess in king
Jess in king - 2 måneder siden
sounds like you might need another therapist! some i've had didn't work with me and my current one does.
Marissa Rockel
Marissa Rockel - 2 måneder siden
Anyone else’s jaw drop when Eric decided to colour the taco blue?.... 😂
He should be thankful he’s never seen a “blue taco” before.... hahahahaha
katofrie - 2 måneder siden
Honestly sometimes this type of therapy isn't for everyone and maybe it isn't for you... Maybe you shouldn't do it anymore if it doesn't help you and makes you feel worse, it's okay to stop! I've also been to therapy that ONLY shines a light on what you're doing wrong and only talks about the negative things and you get out of your session feeling worse than when you started :( And tbh it seems like it only gives you more stress and can lead to depression! Sometimes it helps to just live your life and it'll gradually get better (like it did for me) instead of nit picking on your flaws all the time. It doesn't help, so don't feel forced to continue this therapy... It WILL get better, but on your own pace ♥
Purple Sunset
Purple Sunset - 2 måneder siden
Purple Sunset
Purple Sunset - 2 måneder siden
Hi Everyone last pet
Emily smith Beauty blog
Emily smith Beauty blog - 2 måneder siden
Jazmine Hayleen
Jazmine Hayleen - 2 måneder siden
Keep up the great content and I hope everything gets better for you soon collen💗
JulieGaga - 2 måneder siden
Hm. Well it’s a type of OCD, right? Maybe exposure therapy could help you.
justin - 3 måneder siden
make just girly things merch !!!! id buy that!!
Andrea - 3 måneder siden
The process is hard but necessary. It’s okay if you can’t get better instantly. It takes time but it does work. You need to find the reason behind your skin picking so you can control it.
Jalysa Sealy
Jalysa Sealy - 3 måneder siden
Hey colleen
I love so much, But..
Why dont you start a podcast?
Since you know your not alone and you love to talk about it.

Just letting you know that you are such a good influencer and seems like a realy nice/good person❤😘
Evangeline Holliday
Evangeline Holliday - 3 måneder siden
It is okay we all get frustrated ❤️ you are a great mom and person!!!
Robyn Collip
Robyn Collip - 3 måneder siden
girl I get you with that therapy doesn't work for me vibe, it's really hard
MOMSARETH Chotana - 3 måneder siden
Colleen always speak in front of camera almost 1 hour
Taylor Link
Taylor Link - 3 måneder siden
Love u and flynn, he is so cute and adorable.
Francesca Mauceri
Francesca Mauceri - 3 måneder siden
I’m so proud of you and thankful for you for sharing!! 💗💗 YOURE so strong and amazing
Robyn Collip
Robyn Collip - 3 måneder siden
I feel like flynn loves bob the builder
Little_brittany_and_me - 3 måneder siden
If you don’t feel good don’t go there. Try to see what do you think about when you start doing that. Or try to write all your thoughts and things that are bothering you or worry you on a paper and that maybe will help you and then trow away that paper.
Brittany - 3 måneder siden
It’s busywork for a lazy therapist
Brittany - 3 måneder siden
Brittany - 3 måneder siden
Alaina Sherry
Alaina Sherry - 3 måneder siden
I have an idea for if you make more merch you should make a T-shirt or some thing that says just girly things on it
Samylovet - 3 måneder siden
Omg where’d you get the lights from? I would like to buy some for my son
chachaluv7 - 3 måneder siden
Try not to get too discouraged! I’ve been in therapy off and on since I was 5 (childhood trauma) but even now at 26 I go when I feel the need and still don’t feel “fixed”. Personally, I’ve gone, get to feeling better mentally and then stop going until I feel bad enough again. Not the best method, but life happens. Needless to say, it’s a long process. I suffer with anxiety, too and realize I will for the rest of my life. But you’re on the right track. Just please don’t give up on it. Therapy is meant to make you dig deep and pull out the worst in yourself so you can work though it and find the best. Thinking about you, Colleen. Stay strong
jadacarole - 3 måneder siden
It's ok colleen!! You can get through it and you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. We will support you till its over! 💖
Andrea Medlin
Andrea Medlin - 3 måneder siden
I just wanted to jumo in here and say instead of thinking or over analyzing the negative and the wrong doing and how thing wrong thing made you feel... try to think and point out the positive like hey i didnt do that thing today.... you know celebrating the YAY in the DAY!!!! Love watching you Colleen!!!
tiffany v
tiffany v - 3 måneder siden
I agree with others comments.....this does not sound like the right therapist for you. Why....on GODS GREEN EARTH would you be given "homework" listing things that are wrong with you.....and there is NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU! You are an amazingly strong woman....you are a role model for other women....and I'm sure, whether you know not or not....I am 100% sure you have saved people from hurting themselves in many ways. Rather than "homework" that focuses on what's "wrong"....let's do "homework" on what is RIGHT with you.....on things you've accomplished and feel great about doing....on being an amazing mom of an even more amazing boy......cry if you need to...even scream (maybe out on a walk in an open area)...just get it out.
Carly Battaglia
Carly Battaglia - 3 måneder siden
colleen breaking down into tears is the hardest thing i’ve ever watched
Allison Shaievitz
Allison Shaievitz - 3 måneder siden
Prouf of you for sharing...
Allison Shaievitz
Allison Shaievitz - 3 måneder siden
What about medication! Sometimes that helps.. not forever but temporarily.
Broski seal
Broski seal - 3 måneder siden
Flynn is soooooooooooo cute❤️❤️❤️❤️
Lydia Olwell
Lydia Olwell - 3 måneder siden
Colleen and Erik's parenting is on fleet right now!
All these people agree👇
Carley B
Carley B - 3 måneder siden
I love your family so much!!❤️❤️🤍
MySeasideRendezvous - 3 måneder siden
I really count all the crafts you do as meditation. They clear your head and keep you busy from your anxiety.
Ollie Hudson
Ollie Hudson - 3 måneder siden
why did i just get this notif?
ShrinkDavid 1982
ShrinkDavid 1982 - 3 måneder siden
I don't think this type of therapy is working for you. You need to explain that to your therapist. As therapists, we have many "tools in our chest" and your therapist should be able to try something else. If not, you need another therapist.
InHislove - 3 måneder siden
Colleen, i hope i spelt your name right... you will need therapy for the therapy soon. I tried a therapy like that for something else and it was traumatizing. It didn't work. The faster you quit the better you will feel. There are other things that can work. :) please believe me, your personality is not suited to CBT or whatever they are calling it.
TheJessica310 - 3 måneder siden
Colleen, as a Psychologist myself I suggest looking for a feminist therapist. Traditional therapy has many errors unfortunately
alien potato squid
alien potato squid - 3 måneder siden
Progress is not linear. Recovery is not linear. There is not timeline on growth or peace. I was diagnosed with OCD when I was 3. I’m now 24 and I’m still working and plateauing and regressing and progressing. I know it’s scary and it’s hard and it feels impossible but it *is* possible to find balance with your OCD and not allow it to consume you. It takes hard work and patience, but most of all a whole damn lot of self-love & forgiveness.
P.S. I would really recommend talking about the NAC with your therapist!!
If you’re opposed to medications or don’t feel like committing to them, there are a lot of supplements that help with OCD and anxiety. The top one I recommend is NAC, I take the one from the brand “now.”
If you do decide to take a supplement make sure to titrate slowly and only start one at a time and take consistently (likely daily or twice daily) for at least 2-4 months to see if it works for you.
**This advice coming from a person with OCD who has been medicated and seen psychiatrists and therapists for almost her entire life. But again this is only my (and my siblings) life experiences.
Leslie Johnson
Leslie Johnson - 3 måneder siden
LynneNicole - 3 måneder siden
Where did you get those button lights?! I have looked on Amazon and can't find them
Ly Koger
Ly Koger - 3 måneder siden
Don't be disappointed in yourself, you are a beautiful human with a brilliant mind! Maybe a hypnotherapist could help you with the skin picking?
qween cat
qween cat - 3 måneder siden
Hi guys I'm 4 days late but plz be strong from whatever your going thro I know you can do it! And I hope that you guys are safe during this pandemic have a great day❤
Rachel Ravenclaw
Rachel Ravenclaw - 3 måneder siden
Medication? It’s not a bad word
Rachel Ravenclaw
Rachel Ravenclaw - 3 måneder siden
If you leave a taco out for long enough I bet it would turn blue
Joana Santo
Joana Santo - 3 måneder siden
Colleen: *BuRpS* loudly all the time
Also Colleen: burps silently while talking - `sorry guys, I just burped´ahahahahahha
Natasha Moppert
Natasha Moppert - 3 måneder siden
Honestly, it sounds like you need a new therapist. Therapy is hard work, and it takes a while, but from what you’ve described... I’d find a new one. Therapy shouldn’t make u feel like that
Nicole Slater
Nicole Slater - 3 måneder siden
Being able to recognize when you are okay and doing well and also when you are not okay and arent doing well is a huge sign of progress. We cant fix anything if we are not aware of its existence and impact on ourselves and our lives. Progress and healing comes in waves, some days/weeks you're gonna feel super productive and like youve gone so far and others are going to feel like you havent moved an inch. Neither is a failure. Treat yourself the same way you would treat one of your family members had they been the one going thru this. Love, patience, compassion and understanding.
life in my empty nest
life in my empty nest - 3 måneder siden
Disneyland day!! 😃❤️
Adryanna - 3 måneder siden
One of the things my therapist had said to me when I was going through a really tough time with my depression was in order to balance out the critic in your head, try writing down all the things you Did do that day. Even brushing your teeth or your hair. Every small victory and when you have a day where you feel like you didnt do a damn thing you can then remind yourself that even on your worst days where nothing else was done right, you did all of these things. Its super motivating (I happen to also be a big list person so that helps). I focus alot on the negatives because I have ocd tendencies and im adhd and have severe anxiety and depression and so everything feels impossible somedays. She really helped me learn how to remind myself that even at my worst I still accomplish So much. I hope maybe- if you see this, that you might try some variation of this that works for you because I identify so much with having to do and doing things that make you feel so defeated and frustrated and disappointed in yourself. I support you and your journey and I wish you nothing less than the progress, not perfection, that is coming your way.
Christina Davies
Christina Davies - 3 måneder siden
Yes Erik I too have never seen a blue taco.. but I have seen a blue waffle!!! Oh shiiiiiiitt haha
Breanna R. Paez
Breanna R. Paez - 3 måneder siden
Girl, it sounds like your therapist needs to reevaluate her treatment plan. If meditation isn't working for you, don't do it. If overanalyzing is stressing you out, then stop doing that. Try out other things, you need to advocate for yourself when in therapy. Maybe ask for a different therapist. I've had two separate therapists, one for an IOP group and an individual one, they both worked to make sure they could give me treatments that actually work for me. Therapy isn't all sunshine and rainbows, sometimes it makes me feel overwhelmed too, but overall it isn't stressing me out. That's no good. That isn't what therapy should be.
TAMARA VLAHO - 3 måneder siden
Don't AND Maranda sings 😓😓😓
BbyDee1997:* - 3 måneder siden
I love his little dance moves!😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Serina Farnam
Serina Farnam - 3 måneder siden
I love you just the way you are
Star Gonzalez
Star Gonzalez - 3 måneder siden
Dont self deprecate 😭 your feelings are valid. You got this Colleen ❤️
Carol Lynette
Carol Lynette - 3 måneder siden
I finally started therapy for PTSD, Dep/Anx, losing both my parents, etc & completely know what u mean! Right now I'm having to relive things & bring up traumatic events that I blocked out. I know it's for the better & its unhealthy to ignore it, but it causes my issues to get worse, the more I have to pick at my wounds. This is why I avoided therapy so it's very hard. I cant meditate either, I cant sit still & dont overthink everything. I hope that our therapy journeys get better & is worth it (cuz right now it feels like it makes it worse, lol) & we will hopefully see the light at the end of the tunnel! Love you Colleen! Stay strong!
Messy Melon
Messy Melon - 3 måneder siden
Rachel Williams
Rachel Williams - 3 måneder siden
I dont know but that sounds like not great therapy, it sounds almost like making you feel shamed into not doing it which is only going to exasperate your anxiety and OCD tendencies... also mindfulness can commonly cause more anxiety if you try doing it when youre already in a vulnerable mental state, it should be something that you have practiced doing while healthy and then again, it might just not be for you! So it seems odd to me that it doesn't make you feel good and you've been trying and trying for a while and this therapist is still trying the same thing! If therapy is making you feel anxious, it sounds like maybe you should try a different therapist!!
makenna - 3 måneder siden
Colleen I also pick my skin and I feel embarrassed I'm 11 gurl I don't have therapy I just pick my skin and my fingers look discustange🥺
Norah Bos
Norah Bos - 3 måneder siden
When she started tiring up I did to 😢 I am so sorry Colleen I love you 💕❤️
Yen Rae Wee
Yen Rae Wee - 3 måneder siden
we are here for you and we love you for you. cry all you want and vent all you want but we are here for you. Don't overthink and cry it all out and post it. We will still care about you and we love you sm!!
Sinka Csilla
Sinka Csilla - 3 måneder siden
If your therapy is not working, find another therapist. You shouldn't continue suffering just because your therapist could not come up with a solution that works for you
Emme A
Emme A - 3 måneder siden
Your already anxious calling it out is what your brain is already doing so doing it more will make it worse maybe look into other therapy options or methods
Julia O
Julia O - 3 måneder siden
You got this Colleen!
Demi Loren
Demi Loren - 3 måneder siden
Love, there is nothing wrong with you! You are human and absolutely beautiful and amazing exactly how you are in all of your colors! Being able to surrender to all of the multifaceted sides of your journey is beautiful and so powerful. Please don’t let anyone especially your therapist tell you different! I know I am a complete stranger but if you ever wanted to talk or just vent I would be happy to hold space for you, just reach out. You are strong and so inspiring keep being you girl!
AJB - 3 måneder siden
Flynn should take dance classes when he’s older lol
Tatiana Kauhane
Tatiana Kauhane - 3 måneder siden
11:35 I wish I could just give you a huge hug 🤗🙌🏽💕
Dora Tavano
Dora Tavano - 3 måneder siden
Hey have you tried diffusing essential oils? I know someone that suffered from trich and diffusing peace and calming essential oils really helped her, you should try it!! I hope it helps you!!
Phoebe4ever White
Phoebe4ever White - 3 måneder siden
It’s ok we all have strengths and we all have weaknesses important thing is to love you you love me who you wanna be
Cookie Gacha
Cookie Gacha - 3 måneder siden
My question is why is she preparing for Christmas when it’s August
Felicia Hawley
Felicia Hawley - 3 måneder siden
Eric: i did red gus for murder
Alyssa Quintero
Alyssa Quintero - 3 måneder siden
Flynn is so cute dancing
Kira - 3 måneder siden
stay strong
georgiebubbles100 - 3 måneder siden
Colleen I literally started crying for you❤️❤️❤️❤️ know that we will always be here for you and that we will be here to help forever.
Rebecca Love
Rebecca Love - 3 måneder siden
Try to not go to therapy for a month and see home you are after that
Heather Fredenburg
Heather Fredenburg - 3 måneder siden
A) Do not apologize for crying
B) I went through CBT and it is TOUGH to focus on the why's and the feelings behind your behaviors (I had to do thought records). It IS exhausting BUT... it literally changed my life (mine was panic and anxiety related).
C) It is OK to take a break from therapy but in my opinion, don't do it just to avoid dealing with things.
This is just my opinion from my own experience. You do have to do what's best for you. But know that one day, if you stick through this tough part, you will feel so victorious and proud.
You also don't need to give disclaimers and apologies about your struggles just because other people have different or "worse" struggles. Being honest about what is REAL to you, is what matters.
So PLEASE stop apologizing!!!! I mean that in the best way!
Lily Catsandhorses
Lily Catsandhorses - 3 måneder siden
Colleen it really helps me when u talk about it co I don’t feel alone anymore but don’t do things your not comfortable with love u ❤️❤️💓💓
HeartofHeather - 3 måneder siden
Honestly, it seems as if you and your therapist may not be a great match. Have you thought about getting someone else
Juana Duran
Juana Duran - 3 måneder siden
Colleen God is here for you, there is no need to worry start to believe maybe what you need is a little more God in your life Colleen
ABRIELLA FONTENOT - 3 måneder siden
Give Flynn A YouTube channel pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Melanie Ferland
Melanie Ferland - 3 måneder siden
maybe change therapist!??! try other types of therapy that might be more effective or helpful!?!
Montana McInerney
Montana McInerney - 3 måneder siden
I love how Colleen's outfits never match lol
Montana McInerney
Montana McInerney - 3 måneder siden
But ur still stunning
Plumbixie - 3 måneder siden
We are here for you Colleen, it’s going to be ok. Talk to people talk to your therapist. We are here for you I promise always to uplift you and make you happy
Laura P
Laura P - 3 måneder siden
If you have add/adhd, you need a therapist that at least understands adhd and how an adhd brain works. You can't be expected to respond the same way a neurotypical person would. Your brain is wired completely differently and the wrong treatment could make things worse, which potentially seems like the case here.
Michele Nguyen
Michele Nguyen - 3 måneder siden
I’m wondering if you give yourself 30 minutes everyday to allow yourself to pick your skin but instead of your skin, it’s elmers glue. You can cover your finger tips with elmers glue and then you can pick at that and maybe that would satisfy the desire to pick your skin? Hang in there!!!
Liz - 3 måneder siden
Hello Colleen! Thank you for sharing your troubles with therapy. I’ve been going for therapy on and off for the past 5 years, and i’ve been introduced many different methods. What I found was that some of these techniques may not seem to work from the get go, and it really does take time to find out what works for us. I was also told to do something similar where I had to write down where/ when I was feeling these uncomfortable feelings, who I was with etc. I’m still attending therapy sessions and learning new ways of coping. It’s an ongoing journey and there will be days where we feel tired, or don’t understand why our therapist asks us to do something. My doctor always reminds me that it doesn’t matter if we struggle sometimes, so long as our overall direction is towards recovery! When we look back next time, we’ll realize how far we have come :-) Praying for you, and everyone who’s struggling, to have the strength and patience to wait for these uncomfortable feelings to pass. 🥰
Leah Wilson
Leah Wilson - 3 måneder siden
Emotions are natural. We need to normalize healthy expression of emotion
Vale Mansi
Vale Mansi - 3 måneder siden
I have the exact ocd but i go from my hands to my face to my hands to face and so... it sucks
Stef me
Stef me - 3 måneder siden
Colleen that's the way for change though. There's no painless way. Of course it will be challenging. Of course you'll get frustrated. That's all part of the process. Persistence is the key though. Your therapist can't help you if you're skipping sessions or if you don't share how you feel about the process. And it might takes you years to see progress. You need to love all sides of you. Even this one.
Jemimah Kendall
Jemimah Kendall - 3 måneder siden
Omg!😍😍😍😍 Flynn is so cute
Diggity Dawg
Diggity Dawg - 3 måneder siden
Healing is not a linear process, even sometimes when you feel like you've healed or moved on from something it can come back and hit like a punch in the face. Simply being alive is enough, you will get back on the positive healing path
Alyssa Smith
Alyssa Smith - 3 måneder siden
No one: Flynn: 👉👈🥺 Colleen: can you say please Flynn: BAHH
Heidi Stamper
Heidi Stamper - 3 måneder siden
what happened to the ant farm!??!